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Category Archives: Insiders

Brian Houston’s convenient memory loss on how he treated his “best friend”

20 Sunday Sep 2015

Posted by Nailed Truth in Associations, Brian Houston's Beliefs, Hillsong Associations, Hillsong Conference, Hillsong Fascism, Hillsong Scandal, Hillsong Testimonies, Hillsong worship, Insiders, Marketing, News Headlines

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bobbie houston, Brian Houston, bullock, CBN, Christian Broadcast Network, cover up, coverup, deceit, geoff bullock, Hillsong cult, Hillsong music, hillsong worship, houston, levin, liar, lies, Live Love Lead, Live Love Leer, Live Love Lie, Meeuwsen, mental disorder, narcissist, narcissistic, people in glass houses, psychopath, sociopath, tanya levin, Terry Meeuwsen, worship

One reason why we started Church Watch was because we noticed popular cults starting to rewrite their history. Specifically C3 and Hillsong.

In his book, ‘Live Love Lead,’ Brian Houston of Hillsong lied about his history in how he dealt with his father’s crimes and victims (he also added new information to the story that was not disclosed at the Royal Commission). The stories he told the media also contradicted his story at the Royal Commission.

He has also been promoting the lie that he started CLC/Hillsong (switching histories to suit whatever agenda). He also insists that he founded his church at Hills in 1983. This is now being refuted as well.

The philosophy with Hillsong is this: if your history doesn’t make you look good, change it or cover it up. And Brian Houston has had lots of experience with this (as we are about to find out).

12_Code-Spectrum_EIC

EIC – no morals, no ethics, no Christianity. Just a network to promote stuff that sounds Christian to consumers.

Recently, Brian Houston was focusing on the Evangelical Industrial Complex (EIC) in America to sell his new book ‘Live Love Lead.’ Terry Meeuwsen appeared to make Houston nervous while he promoted his material on the Christian Broadcast Network. She raised the issue of Houston’s terrible experience losing his “best friend” in 1995. His body language indicated that he clearly was not comfortable with Meeuwsen throwing this experience in his face. (Watch at 7:10 onwards.)

CBN TRANSCRIPT

Terry Meeuwsen: “… When I think of Hillsong, I think of praise and worship because those songs are sung in my own church and the churches of so many of us. And God actually used the disappointment and the surprise of a leader leaving – a key lead- THE leader of your worship team, and yet God did an amazing thing.

Brian Houston: “You mean right back in 1995?

Terry Meeuwsen: Yeah.

Brian Houston: So it’s 20 years ago? It’s true.

We were on the edge of recording with ah- Integrity Music here in America. And of course we’re Down Under, like, you know, its already amazing that, that um- people were reaching out to us.

And so, the week that it was about to happen – and ah- I still don’t even understand it. I still to this day don’t understand it. But our worship leader walked out. [Behaviour gets antsy] And literally walked out. Like literally left my life- left our lives- and he was like a best friend, so there’s huge grief involved. [Rubs loose tooth?] And uh-

But the incredible thing in it all is that the only person I could turn to was a lady called Darlene Zschech. And of course Darlene Zschech is well-known now around the globe. So I kind of, as well as I could, I gently pushed her forward. I rang Integrity Music. And incredibly they never had a woman lead one of their projects at that time. So it was quite a big thing for them. But it turned out to be an amazing story.”

[Drinks cup of water]

That worship leader and “best friend” to Brian Houston in 1995 was Geoff Bullock.

Geoff Bullock was the man that gave Christian Life Centre the name Hillsong and helped put Hillsong on the map for it’s outstanding musical events and it’s famous music. Just like many others who made Hillsong what it is today, Brian Houston simply rode on the coat-tails of his “friends” who made Hillsong what it is.

Geoff Bullock

So how does Brian Houston treat his best friends? Did he really suffer memory loss on the CBN set? To answer that question, we will look at Brian Houston’s book ‘You Can Change the Future’, Tanya Levin’s book ‘People in Glass Houses’ and finally read what Geoff Bullock himself said about his experience.

Tanya Levin Hillsong Brian Houston cult

Tanya Levin wrote about Geoff Bullock in her book ‘People in Glass Houses’:


“Geoff left Hillsong in late 1995. I knew that his marriage had broken down and had remarried but, not having stayed in touch with the Christian music scene, not much else. The Geoff that I shared cappuccinos with was the same man as always. Same piercing blue eyes, soft mannerisms, and a voice born for the BBC. Geoff is not, by nature, an AoG salesman. Rather he represents a large group of artists who are attracted to the Pentecostal church by the opportunity for creative expression for Jesus.

What I didn’t expect was the brokenness. Although I had worked with people from a diversity of backgrounds for years, I assumed all the old wise men of God were naturally of stronger character than me, Over the time we spoke I found it not to be so. It was Geoff’s openness and willingness to talk that prepared me for a world of people damaged for the long-term by the work of Hillsong and the AoG.

Geoff says he remembers having episodes of mania when he was a child, although he wasn’t diagnosed with symptoms of any kind until after he left Hillsong. He sees a therapist to work on his long periods of depression, which are often followed by episodes of intense creativity. The other obstacle in his life is the nightmares he suffers dating from the time with Hillsong, an off-shoot of his post-traumatic stress diagnosis.

As the Hillsong conference expanded in the late eighties, so did Geoff’s responsibilities and pressures. He and his wife, Janine, were expected to spend infinite hours away from their children to run the music department. International interest in the music grew and so did Geoff’s profile. The couple travelled extensively with the Praise and Worship team, and personally with their old friends Brian and Bobbie. Despite the bright lights and the glory, his music career at it’s peak, Geoff was finding less satisfaction and spirituality in what he was doing.

After the most successful conference yet, Hillsong ’95, Geoff went to Brian and told him he was leaving. It was time, he felt, spiritually, to pursue other interests. Nothing personal.

Geoff Bullock had left a career with ABC-TV as a production manager to become a pastor with the Hills Christian Life Centre in 1978. For nearly twenty years he was able to use those skills to produce Hillsong music, and the show that accompanied it. During that time he wrote, produced and performed countless songs, and released seven albums. Because Hillsong still uses those songs, has remixed them and re-released them, Geoff’s royalties are growing at the same rate as Hillsong.

Which is lucky for Geoff. Hillsong did everything in its power to prevent his future success. Due to speak at a bible college occasion soon after leaving, he received a phone call with a sudden apology. Hillsong had informed the bible college that any associations with Geoff Bullock meant no further association with Hillsong. Christian magazines were told the same thing. Piles of the CD Geoff was about to release were found dumped at a tip in Blacktown, not far from Hillsong headquarters.

In Bobbie’s I’ll Have What She’s Having, this period is clearly referred to (the emphases are hers):

  In July 1995, we witnesses a wonderful HILLSONG Leadership Conference. It was our 9th conference and in our nation and in our context of influence, to put it delicately- ‘we put the wind up the devil!!!’ Stories would flood into our offices of churches and towns being turned upside down with a revival spirit. God is good (all the time). Brian and I took a week to tie up loose ends and then together with our friends Pat and Liz Mesiti we took a little holiday. (I think God was just being terribly kind to give us a rest, because he knew what lay around the next bend.)

  We came home a week later, stepped off the plane (‘hello, hello … lovely to see you … we missed you all … had a lovely time!’) and literally all hell broke out with one of our key people. It was the first and only time that something like this had happened to us. (I must admit prior to that conference I sensed something brewing, and had called our pastors wives to prayer.)

  … For the next several months it was as though demons came out of the woodwork on every front. When attacks come from every side it is a sure sign that you are doing something right (which is contrary to some people’s belief). We experienced a barrage of attack-cancer, accidents, stinking thinking, people throwing in the towel, disloyalty in our team that disappointed our heart, devil induced confusion, opposition and fine thread ‘cancerous attitude’ bent on contaminating and taking out this particular Body of Christ.

Eventually, a Hillsong board member had lunch with Geoff. ‘We tried to destroy you,’ he told him. ‘until we realised you weren’t a threat.’ Geoff continues to work and write music, though he gave up performing years ago.

The nightmares remain one of the most intrusive spillovers from the old days. Three of four times a week he dreams about Hillsong events, being humiliated by Brian’s demands, being screamed at, berated and bullied along the way. His psyche is deeply affected. He is very aware that he, too, became a bully. Years later, Geoff has tried to make amends to many people he treated ruthlessly in order to avoid punishment from above.

At the end of our first meeting at a café, Geoff is exhausted. He tells me he feels drained by the remembering. I realise I have stumbled into a much more serious affliction in people’s lives than I had anticipated.”

Source: Tanya Levin, People in Glass Houses, Published: Black Inc., Melbourne, VIC: 2007, pg. 242-4.


Brian Houston writes of his best friend this way in his book ‘You Can Change the Future’ (a book that attempted to cover up his father’s crimes as a paedophile and exalted as a role model for others to follow):

Royal Commission - Brian Houston


Commitment to the right vehicle

“When I was a little boy, I had a scooter. As I got older, I rode a three-wheeled trike before I got my first bicycle. One day my father took me down to the shops and as I sat impatiently waiting for him in the car, all of sudden [sic] he came around the corner with a shining green bicycle. It was my pride and joy. Of course getting my first car was an unforgettable moment in my life. It was a ’57 Austin A50. It was also green and it cost me $650.

Many people desire to make an impact on the generations but rely on old vehicles to get there. Imagine me trying to fulfil my overseas speaking engagements via my original scooter or bicycle! You need the right vehicle and the right associations to enable God to take you forward. You may have a great vision to impact the earth, but alone you cannot do as much as you could together with others. If you are in associations which are holding you back or on a vehicle that is moving too slowly, stretch yourself by stepping into the mainstream and being committed to going forward.

I have been blessed to pastor at least four world-class songwriters, and many others heading in the same direction. I cannot take credit for their anointing or their God-given gifts, but I do have a sense of satisfaction about their opportunity. The Hillsong Church is a vehicle that has taken their songs to the world. One of these writers, who severed their link to our church several years ago, told me how they were writing more songs than ever before. Interestingly, it is only the songs that were written within the local church that I have heard anybody singing. It seems as though the local church was the vehicle which God was blessing.

Currently, the most sung praise and worship songs in Australian churches have emerged from the life of our church. Obviously that association with Hillsong Church has been very fruitful for people like Darlene Zschech, Ruben Morgan and Russel Fragar. They have obvious talent, a beautiful anointing, but also the right vehicle. Talent and anointing on their own aren’t enough, but placing the right people, in the right place, at the right time, has enormous potential.”

Source: Brian Houston, You Can Change the Future: Living Beyond Today and Impacting the Generations Ahead, Published: Maximised Leadership Incorporated, Australia, 2000, pg. 131-2.


And what did Geoff Bullock had to say about his experience? This is a very insightful interview exposing what Bullock went through, discussing areas of Hillsong’s philosophy, methods and dirty tactics which lead to his swift removal.

And Houston claims he has no idea why Geoff Bullock, his best friend, walked? What other lies and smear campaigns has Brian Houston written about in his book ‘Live Love Lead’? What other media organisations and Christian groups has he publicly mislead and lied to about his past life?

Let the sledge BEGIN!

Let the sledge BEGIN!


Terry Allen from the Christian Faith wrote this piece back in 2010:

Geoff Bullock opens up …

We all know his music and we each have a favourite. He is Geoff Bullock. But what do you know about the man? About Geoff as a Christian? About Geoff as a sufferer of bi-polar disorder?

Join Geoff as he discusses his life and ministry with Terry Allen.

Geoff, what have you been doing for the last decade or so?
Oh, what a question! What have I been doing for the last 10 years? I would say I have been learning grace and un-learning working to prove myself.

Now, that is not just in a spiritual situation, that is in a whole of life situation: in my relationships with my kids, with my friends, with [wife] Victoria, especially as a step-father. Learning how to be rather than to do.

Spiritually, that has huge impacts on my life. I wrote two books at the beginning of the century, which was the beginning of that journey. Jesus’ story painted in a way that I hope you could see or visualize the impact he was making on society and the lives of broken hearted people; people without hope.

In the last 10 years I suppose, I would say, combined with that, I have been battling with mental illness: bi-polar type two which has caused all manner of symptoms in my life which has been confronting. One of the main ones being high levels of anxiety, which has seen me come and go publically three times.

I am now 10 years on and I feel the illness is manageable and the greatest gift, I think, is that I have been forced to learn insight into the way I think and the way that I do. I have learnt that by reflection on my past and reflection on the times where I can see the illness in that.

Also, over the last decade, I have had a most surprising return to public profile to tie that journey in to the life of Christ and the hope we see in the cross. So, I think that’s what I’ve been doing.

Life as a Christian, especially with bi-polar disorder, must be difficult. Some Christians believe it is demonic & should be dealt exclusively by prayer. How have you managed it?
Well, the first thing I want to wade in swinging is that I wish the evangelists and those who visit churches, and they arrive one day and leave the other, who drop such dangerous bombs on people’s medical situations; I wish they would go and do some research by sitting down with a psychiatrist and realizing how dangerous their teaching is.

You wouldn’t dare say that to someone with diabetes, but this irresponsible message; all it does is heighten the symptoms twice. You know, they go off medication, they get worse and then, getting worse, they think they must be possessed by demons, so that makes them feel worse and then they are totally without an anchor. Of course the hope of medication and a good psychiatrist is taken away from them, so I get furious about that.

And it’s also totally irrelevant to the gospel. There’s no resemblance to the life of Christ whatsoever. So, those are my little swinging punches.

For me, I do a lot of thinking, prayerful thinking and I think about the life of Christ all the time. Trying to strip away all of the things we’ve said culturally and theologically: strip it away. The drama that was Jesus when he walked into somebody’s life or somebody’s social circumstances: that is of great help to me.

I have a little saying: receiving grace compels us to begin the journey towards becoming gracious. Receiving grace is free but becoming gracious will cost you everything. It will cost you every opinion you have in your life and every bias.

So that has made a huge difference in the way I react to my symptoms because often my symptoms are feelings of rejection and a lack of affirmation and a feeling of isolation.Then I will expect people to do as I want them to do which is to work to prove their love for me as I am working to prove my love for them.   So meditating on the life of Christ helps me to challenge that works based expectation of myself and others.

Bi-polar disorder is often suffered by artistic and creative people and one of the symptoms is depression. Have you suffered depression?
Yes, I’ve been absolutely lost in it. It was in 2007, actually it started back in November 2006, I remember vividly when i suddenly realised that I was falling into depression, I was sitting on a sun drenched balcony overlooking the sea and feeling absolutely miserable and that lasted for just on a year.

Obviously, talking to my GP and then my psychiatrist, I began a journey of trying to balance medication and cognitive therapy. I ended up as a day patient at a psychiatric clinic in Sydney, which I think was the beginning of helping me to have insight and, strangely enough, 2008 saw the rebirth of what I’m doing now and I spent a good 18 months of it depressed, but it was wonderful having a mission.

Have you ever felt Christian condemnation over your condition?

No, I don’t think I’ve ever been in that situation, but look, I can be a little outspoken and I have thought really deeply about my condition and so I feel that I have ammunition now. If, for example someone said to me, “Oh, it’s the devil”, which did happen to me once: one of my very, very oldest friends: he is not a man with insight. He does not think deeply and so he has a book of rules that he applies. He started a conversation with me about my depression being demonic and I think my response was strong enough for him to realize that even if he thought I was wrong, he would be wise to step away.

15 years ago you left Hillsong. Why?
Well, I’ve got to say that I was always a round peg in a square hole there. From the beginning of Hillsong’s association with the Word of Faith churches in America, their prosperity doctrine and their very works-based doctrine of spiritual and physical rewards, I just could not tie the gospel together with what they were saying. Not when I looked at Jesus at the cross; I couldn’t understand how they combined the grace of Jesus found in the gospel with the laws of conditional blessings and rewards found in the Old Testament.

They teach that Jesus rewards us according to our works. That is not the work of Christ. Grace is never a reward. We receive grace as a gift according what Jesus accomplished for us.

I actually tried to leave in 1992, but got turned around. It’s important that I say I chose to stay and rededicate all that I could to continue being part of their vision and the outworking of it.

Then, in 1995, I had two major things happening: I had this sensation that I really didn’t know Jesus. I knew Paul’s Jesus, I knew the epistles’ Jesus and Hebrews and I knew my movement’s Jesus: all the preachers and teachers who came through and spoke about him, but in my own life I felt I did not have this sense of meeting him. And so I started a search.

That’s when I wrote the song Jesus, God’s righteousness revealed. Towards the middle of the year, I started to really burn out because I was trying so hard to prove myself worthy of being who I was and trying to prove myself worthy of God’s presence on a Sunday: I had this poor, misguided feeling that if I play really, really well, God will come. It might sound stupid to say it, but it was where I think lots of Church musicians still are.

But after Hillsong ’95 I just felt so broken and so failed, I thought, “Look, I could just fall over dead and no one would notice.” But then I had this profound sense, and it grew: in fact, I would say it was the strongest spiritual encounter I had with God, where he said, through a whole lot of ways, to do something: that I had to go.

And it took three months and a whole lot of conversations, but eventually I wrote a letter and handed it on by a friend. I didn’t have the courage to do it to their face, but I knew that if I didn’t do what I felt God was saying… I had a choice: either I follow God or follow the church.

In the end, I’d rather build my relationship, my spirituality, on trying to discern what God’s saying to me and that’s how I left. And it really was the great divorce. It was unnecessarily bitter and divisive and that I found very confusing.

By saying it was bitter and divisive, do you mean you were stabbed in the back?
Yes, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt. There were letters written to other churches, there were approaches made to other churches, there was a statement made to the whole church leadership team. They just couldn’t understand what I was doing, but in the end that’s just human and it’s very painful.

One of the hardest things was when my marriage ended three months later people jumped to a conclusion which was so far from the truth. This sad piece of gossip is still believed to be the truth.

Even last weekend I had to retell my story to put events back into the order that they occurred.  It would have been lovely if Hillsong helped to put things right. However I simply became the invisible and forgotten man and that hurts deeply. Very deeply. I would have thought that my work there was seen as a blessing.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that rift has ever been repaired. There is nothing to indicate that it has.

Has there been any reaction at Hillsong in recent times to your current ministry?
Well, firstly, I made contact within six months with Brian Houston who was my very best friend at the time. This is really painful stuff and I can fully understand how he felt. I tried to explain as I was slowing gaining insight into what eventually would be bi-polar. I talked about co-dependency, I talked about my spirituality and I would often find that Brian would understand and ‘get it’. I had a chance to go and see most of the elders and senior pastors at that time and try to explain that I was sorry it happened the way it happened. I could have handled it a whole lot better: I handled it very, very poorly. I suppose we both did, but I can only be accountable for myself.

I met with Brian many, many times because I didn’t like the thought that he thought ill of me and misunderstood me, but I also felt that I had wounded him in a way that I wished I hadn’t and that somehow I could take those wounds away or help heal them. So, we’ve had good contact, but as far as the church is concerned, nothing. There’s just been silence, absolute silence.

I must say, when I left and obviously it was getting rather sad, I decided not to contact any of my friends because I felt that if I did, the worst thing they could do is try to understand me because then they would misunderstand the church and I didn’t want to put my friends in the middle of something that was unnecessary but very human. So, I walked away too and that has to be understood.

Funnily enough, I could see something of my bi-polar going way back to when I was 17 and I was at a very good school in Sydney and all of a sudden I decided I had to leave and I left at the end of year 11. I’ve had almost no contact with that school ever since.

The same thing when I left the ABC and the same thing when I left Hillsong. There is a part of me: I just cut my ties and run.

In realising this I have to take responsibility for my actions and not blame others for my sense of isolation. This is a difficult lesson to admit. I must have hurt so many people. However, no matter how I set about leaving I always come back to believing that i made the right decision.

You wrote some of our generation’s favourite songs. They are ones we all sing in Church. How does that make you feel?
Weird. I’ve always been a musician and always written songs but it hadn’t really defined me all that much, so it was very weird when all of a sudden I was writing songs that were defining me. My claim to fame in the early to mid 80’s was that I was a former cameraman with the ABC. I worked on virtually all their programs for 10 years, so that was my claim to fame.

Then I wrote The Power of Your Love and The Heavens Shall Declare and off it all went. And I have really badly battled with it at times because I would feel it placed on me a responsibility to try to be someone I wasn’t. And that was hard and unnecessary, but I would still feel this pressure. People would come and tell me these stories and I wouldn’t know how to answer.

The way I relate to it now is that I just feel like I have very successful children, which I gave birth to. They’ve now gone and travelled the world, they’ve made a huge impact in their own right and I look back remembering their birth, but looking at their independence. I think that’s by and large how I relate to it now.

Many of the songs you wrote, you now sing with revised lyrics. Why?
Well, I suppose it’s because I remember who I was when I wrote the song. I remember my approach to God and I remember what was a real disfunctionality.  Yes, it was the result of an undiagnosed illness, but it was also an error of theology. An error of grace or rather an error of works in grace.

When Paul says in Galatians, “You foolish Galatians.” ‘You silly things. It had to be done by the Spirit; what are you doing completing it by works?’

Well, that was me. I sort of felt like it was a one-time grace or two-time grace. You went back to God asking for forgiveness, you hung your head in shame, but then you tried to prove yourself worthy of it all. I was constantly striving and therefore constantly burning out.

I was so fierce on myself. I would just push myself and push myself and I would never receive any comfort because I would always be measuring myself and coming up short. I didn’t count myself worthy of comfort. I could never be than man of god that significant others were telling me I should be.

In the middle of this sad and broken time I became aware, ever so gently, that grace was embracing me. I started to realise that I hadn’t fallen from grace, I had fallen into it. I was no less righteous; I had simply lost my sense of self righteousness. Yes, there were consequences but I  became increasingly aware that Jesus had come to give me hope and to help me to be accountable to all these consequences.

So, grace became my only anchor, sort of like lifeboat drill. When you’re a sailor and you do lifeboat drill it is usually in an Olympic swimming pool, but when you are in the middle of Bass Strait, you suddenly discover how effective this lifeboat is.

And so the phrase, “Lord, I come to you,” I was saying that in frustration. “Oh Lord I’m sorry. I should be there with you but I’m not. Here I come again. I come to you again.” And then the prayer, “Lord, hold me close” is like saying “Please hold me close because I don’t think you are holding me close at the moment. I think perhaps you turned away again because you are as frustrated with me as I am.”

The wonderful truth is that the “Lord you come to me to let my heart be changed, renewed flowing from the grace that I found in you” that the “weaknesses that I see in me are being stripped away by the power of your love.” Isn’t that so wonderful? Sometimes I wonder if we simply don’t understand what God has already done for us in Jesus.

So I changed that song to a confession of what God has done. It’s not “hold me close” but “you hold me close”. No matter how dry and disappointed I am, to be able to say to myself, “It’s okay, he’s holding you. You’re depressed, life is tough, but nothing’s changed between you and God. You’re not a disappointment.” And perhaps that also relates back to my experience with my father.

You would hope every Christian, certainly evangelicals, would be pleased that you are looking for ways to ground your songs in God’s word, because if they are not Scriptural we should not be singing them. However, in the case of The Power of Your Love, and I’m thinking in particular of that line you mentioned: “Lord I come to you,” Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me all you who are weary and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” So the idea of us coming to God is not un-Biblical, therefore there is no need to completely re-hash all of your songs is there?
No, but you see the greatest thing about Jesus saying “Come to me,” is he wasn’t calling to me from the other end of heaven waiting for me to work and struggle all the way to him. Jesus came to mankind to say “Come to me”. And that’s outrageous when you really think about that. God put on flesh to come personally. I mean, he could have sent a postcard, he could have written in the sky, but he came personally to dwell as a human being.

Jesus has come to hold us close, to draw us to his side, to comfort us, to speak healing to our wounded souls. He comes propelled by a mission of such eternal and unconditional love.

For this current generation, singing in church has become synonymous with worship. Why is that? And how would you describe the current state of Christian music?
First, I think we need to look at ‘worship’ again. And I think ‘worship’ as our response to Jesus could be a whole lot of other things before we turn it into songs. The intimacy between a husband and wife is expressed many ways before it becomes a love song and that love song will speak of a life of love rather than a love song about love itself.

And I think we’re in error here. I’m not saying don’t sing or play. I think that’s fabulous; it gets down into the soul. Many of the lyrics we sing are great theological truths, mind you, many of them aren’t, but if we could get a grip on God becoming flesh to come to us, Jesus living a life of grace, love, forgiveness, mercy with his last dying words announcing forgiveness and then living a life that responds to his life. How wonderful could that be.

For me worship is my response to the grace of Jesus. This response is my choice to become gracious, to become loving, accepting, merciful, forgiving. This journey needs grace for every step, however, this journey will start its work of transformation in me and hopefully through my life: a worship that flows from grace becoming graciousness in us. A worship that is seen in our relationships with the world around us. A worship that cries “grace” to our leaders, the media, our friends and our enemies.

Does this mean we don’t sing anymore? Not at all. It simply means that our songs are more about worship rather than being worship. Yes, of course there is time for celebration, for adoration, for a corporate time of singing songs of love thankfulness but we will be on a wonderful journey discovering that there is so much more than we have ever realised. I think our songs would be more wonderful, but I think our worship lives would be even more wondrous and I think the way the church’s interaction with our world could be far more a work of love than us simply singing songs on a Sunday morning.

So now I’m wondering what elements have to go in to make a good Christian song. Is it difficult to write a song which has both a good “hook” and good theology?
Yes it is. I must admit, these days I write from experience first, or from meditation first. Almost every song I write is about brokenness being repaired in the most extraordinary way. So I start, I suppose, with my own sense of being overwhelmed with who God is when I see him from my own brokenness.

Then I try and work that into good poetry that has flow, a little bit of repetition but especially that each line contains a picture that is bigger than the words. Then, working that into a melody that can fly; that can float, so you can close your eyes and be caught up in just a beautiful melody.

Or you can turn the melody off, just read the words and become caught up in the words: a piece of poetry. But you put it together and I suppose I hope that people go, “Oh, my goodness, that’s me. How wonderful!” That it hits their life, not just their soul.

You have been a Christian for over 30 years. You’ve had highs and lows. Looking back over that time, what can you say you have learnt about God and what advice would you give to a young Christian about how they should prioritise their life?
What I’ve learnt about God is just the overwhelming amazement that God would do the Jesus story. He didn’t have to. He just didn’t have to. He lived in this huge creation of trillions and trillions of stars and constellations and whatever. That God would make a bee line to broken people finds me simply awestruck!

It appears to me that Jesus did not come to establish Christianity, he did not come to start a movement, he came to meet one person here, and one person there. Broken people, hopeless people, people like me, like you. Jesus did not come to reward us; there’s no reward in it. He came to give hope and he came to affirm the most unlikely people.

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why he was crucified, because he put everybody’s nose out of joint, he was a disappointment to so many people who wanted a messiah in the image of their needs and theologies. Jesus was not a preacher of righteousness, he was a bringer of hope to the unrighteous, the poor in spirit. He didn’t start a campaign to overthrow the Romans, he affirmed a Roman centurion as having more faith than all of Israel.

He allowed a prostitute to anoint him with oil with her hair… Jesus was decidedly “ungodly”. This Jesus excites me because the more I look at him, the more I meditate on his life, the more grace I see.And that’s a growing thing, it continues in my life. This is the truth, it’s not just something I’ve learnt to do to get myself seminars & concerts. It is a constant source of amazement.

So I would say to a young Christian, “Look, this is different to any other relationship you’ve got. You don’t have to prove yourself worthy. You don’t have to dress up, know the right words to say or the right actions to make. You are totally free to be just who you are. You don’t have to have faith. There is no hurry. Ahead of you is a lifetime of discovery. Jesus offers his life, he holds it out to you. It’s free. It’s a gift. God comes to bring hope to the good times and the bad times, the times when we make mistakes, some truly awful mistakes. This Jesus shows us an acceptance that gives us the hope that we can walk forward with his comfort, his peace, his grace and his love. I have found that, in my life, a life that has had its considerable challenges, that I am slowly being renewed and transformed. And that’s really quite amazing.

Geoff, thank you for what you have given in service of the kingdom over the years and for enriching the lives of so many congregations who have sung your songs over and over. We pray the Lord will bless your ministry in whatever time remains. May you make the most of it.
Thank you for the opportunity of being part of what you are doing. And if you hear of anybody who wants that message, you know where I am.

Source: By Terry Allen, Geoff Bullock opens up…, Christian Faith, http://www.christianfaith.com/resources/geoff-bullock-opens-up, Published 29/09/2010. (Accessed 20/09/2015.)

CONCLUSION

Once again, Brian Houston comes across as an unstable man, ruling with an iron fist in a movement where he demands things are done his way. If Geoff Bullock was his “best friend”, why did Brian Houston and his empire destroy him? Why is everything always about Brian Houston? How come Houston is the victim… again?

Geoff Bullock repented of his sins and sought reconciliation to those he damaged. However, Brian Houston still refuses to show any sign of the Holy Spirit. No conviction of sin. No repentance. No seeking reconciliation of those he has destroyed.

Only lies, slander and cover up in his books and on national television. Lastly, if this is the way Brian Houston treats his “best friend”, you have to wonder how he treats people he doesn’t know.

The Hillsong empire strikes back at the rebels base

18 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by Nailed Truth in Hillsong Fascism, Hillsong Scandal, Insiders

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Aghajanian, Brian Houston, George Aghajanian, Hillsong cult, houston, levin, tanya, tanya levin

The empire without a clue recently struck the rebel with a cause. Below she writes of her experience.

Tanya Levin Hillsong Brian Houston

Tanya Levin, the woman Hillsong is set out to destroy.

Tanya Levin reports,

Getting even more banned from the place where Everyone’s Welcome

Levin_BanningNotice

It was about midday on the 8th of September and I was just about to go out. I heard a man call out “Hello?” and I went to the door. There’s lots of construction going on in my block so there’s lots of tradespeople around.

There stood a man who was wearing a leather jacket and he had a couple of papers in his hand. He sort of looked around and said he had a letter for me. He didn’t ask who I was or for any ID. He handed me a piece of paper with a Hillsong logo on the top. Its title was Banning Notice.

He showed me the email he had been sent with his instructions. He said he’d just come from Sydney which is about an hour and a half from my house, depending on which part of Sydney you mean.

“All the way just for me?” I asked him. “Yes,” he said. The email had said he would be paid $132. It was from Hillsong legal. Tim someone.

He told me that he had nothing to do with either party and that I probably wanted to shred the paper. Hardly. “You’ve probably had lots of dealings with this guy,” he said. “No actually”, I told him. He had called himself a court processing server, but he produced no ID either. Still, he didn’t seem to really know what was going on.

We shook hands and said our goodbyes, and I came inside and started shaking. I don’t know why. Maybe because I hadn’t slept enough the night before. Maybe because I was just about to go shopping and this was out of the blue. Maybe because the document just didn’t make sense to me at all.  And I wound up crying a lot. These things can affect you in different ways.

After my arrest on 1 July, this year, which is something I’ll be talking much more about soon, there’s no way I have any interest in darkening their doorsteps any time soon. As it was I had not been near any Hillsong branches in over ten years, so there seems no need to remind me.

What is puzzling me most is the similarity to the original ‘banning notice’ from 2005, which I dug up recently from an eon ago.

Who writes these things? Why have they used the same phrase ‘significant disruption’ again? What does this even mean? All it does it reinforce a tag line I can use at a later date.

But as I’ve always wanted to know, How could you cause significant disruption at Hillsong, unless maybe you were Justin Bieber. They still can’t name the deeds of which I am accused. But they seem to really like the wording. Ten years later.

Do I honestly have to go and help with their PR machine because it’s really, really bad?

The author of this letter, George Aghajanian, has been the General Manager and Brian Houston’s right hand man for a long time now. He was also a friend of my dad’s. After he signed off on the first letter above in 2005, he called my dad up and said, “So, what do you know about a book?”

These people will send your daughter a banning letter and call you up in the same breath and pretend to be your pal. Maybe that’s why I cried. Same shonkiness. Different decade.

Don’t trust them with anything, most of all writing official letters. As a dear funny friend of mine wrote on Facebook, “For people with all that money to spend on plastic surgery, you’d think they’d spend money on real lawyers.”

Weird. There wasn’t even an envelope for the paperwork.

Some people have called it intimidation and harassment. I don’t know but it felt creepy. And I’ve got a feeling this isn’t going to make sense any time soon.

Oh and yes, you are all welcome to attend Burwood Local Court on 1 October to see me on trial for trespass. #asweforgivethose 🙂

Source: Tanya Levin, Getting even more banned from the place where Everyone’s Welcome, Tany Levin, http://www.tanyalevin.com/blog/2015/9/10/getting-even-more-banned-from-the-place-where-everyones-welcome, 10/09/2015. (Accessed 17/09/2015.)

Hillsong Insider (Part 3): “Secrecy is a Hillsong trademark”

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by Nailed Truth in Associations, Brian Houston's Beliefs, Hillsong Associations, Hillsong Fascism, Hillsong Scandal, Insiders

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

circus, Hillsong, insider, political party, secrecy, trademark

This is Part 3 of my series of 3 articles. Please feel free to read my previous articles below:

Hillsong Insider (Part 1): “My exit out of a mega church… Never to return again”
Hillsong Insider (Part 2): “The Hillsong Takeover of a Norwegian Charismatic Mega Church”

In this article I will be looking at how Hillsong operate in secrecy to achieve their own purposes.

CONTROLLING SECRECY

One thing that I noticed which appears to be a common trade mark of mega churches is secrecy.

They shroud their events and conferences in secrecy. They treat us lay people like little kids that can’t wait for Christmas morning to unwrap the gifts and that we are just as thrilled with  the “Surprise” element as all the gifts!

The year before we joined Hillsong I was at the leadership conference. I was helping out in the cafe when the lady in charge said: “Oh! Now it’s about time for the grand opening! Let’s turn the oven off and run and check it out! I’m so excited, it’s a big surprise! No idea what they are going to do but the opening is always something to see!”

So we rushed in and remained towards the back of the audience to get a glimpse. We saw the stage was all a glow with smoke and lights. There were two guys on keyboards on opposite sides of the stage dressed in pantomime masks (Like all white faces with no color) and they were playing like trans, disco, echo, high tech effects piano cords. Then a girl with a long, white, flowing robe appeared standing on a box/platform that was very high. This made her like a giant (almost) and was singing notes with her back to us. She was not singing words but just notes, like the girls in the Pink Floyd band.

The girl slowly turns around as she is singing. It’s very dramatic and theatrical. Then the rock and roll praise band comes out with 4-6 lead singers and full band and we are off to a roaring start.

They ended the 3-4 day conference with what they called “the Holy Shuffle”. It did not say in the program what it was but everybody was excited about it! It was some sort of dance night with a DJ, a sort of social ending to the conference. I was appalled by the idea and certainly did not go.

Also for the Easter service… nobody knew a girl was going to descend from the ceiling swinging from silk scarves!!!! Seriously you have more of an idea what to expect when you go to the circus… then you do on any given Sunday at a mega church!!!!

I object STRONGLY to not knowing what is going on.

Now I go to a small church where it is always announced what is going on and what to expect.

I seriously started looking into the Bible on this and realized that God never makes a move in secret. Even when the walls of Jericho came down he told the people what to expect.

In the New Testament when the Lord sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost the Lord Jesus had said that he would send His spirit as the Comforter. AND the Lord has told us that when He returns… every eye shall see Him and the trumpet shall sound. The Lord doesn’t work or move in secret. When Jesus was born the angels in heaven sang his arrival! As you can see, we can go on and on with examples.

But look at how Jesus exposes the behaviour of Satan or God’s “enemy”:

“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.” Matthew 13:24-26

Working in secret is a Hillsong trademark and I don’t trust it. I do not like how it is being foisted on the church and reinforced as though this is how church operates. Hillsong is EVEN invading our churches in secret.

Didn’t Jesus and His Apostles teach that the Christian’s conduct and confession be public, open and honest? Why isn’t this standard in operation in Hillsong’s leadership?

CONCLUSION

Can you imagine that these days it’s more upfront to join a political party then a church? At least a political party says what they are going to do when you ellect them. Then they end up not doing any of it and we have the democratic power to vote them out of office!

In a church they just use spiritual manipulation. You have no power.

Hillsong Insider (Part 2): “The Hillsong Takeover of a Norwegian Charismatic Mega Church”

21 Thursday May 2015

Posted by Nailed Truth in Hillsong Associations, Hillsong Fascism, Hillsong Scandal, Insiders

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

Bethel, Brian Johnson, Hillsong family, Hillsong insider, insider, Jenn Johnson, Johnson, Oslo, pagan mysticism, paganism, Roman Catholicism, scandals, takeover

This is Part 2 of my series of 3 articles. Please feel free to read my first article below:

Hillsong Insider (Part 1): “My exit out of a mega church… Never to return again”

In this article, I will be looking at how Hillsong asked Oslo Christian Center to join their godfather family in the spring of 2014.

insider

THE HILLSONG TAKEOVER

I was actually not at church the Sunday it was announced to the whole church. One of my friends met me later the same evening and excitedly told me that the church had joined the family of Hillsong.

I thought I wasn’t hearing right! Never in a hundred years did I expect the church to join the “family of Hillsong”!

I thought it was good enough, more than enough, in fact, all sufficient to be a part of the family of God!!! Whatever did it mean to join the family of Hillsong? What were the implications? It sounded like a good ole boys club scenario to me, where you get asked to join the club. It’s like, what on earth had we done to put us in the spotlight, enough to catch the attention of an Australian mega church on the other side of the globe? I realized all the Norwegian church members were really honored and touched that we had been asked to join their family. “Humbled,” in fact, to quote our pastor. That we would make the list and be asked to join was really amazing to the church members. Everybody thought it was very exciting!

I was curious to hear how the decision had played out. Had we voted on it? Or even talked about it? Had I had my head in the sand? How had I not even heard the buzz in the air? Was it really just landed on us with absolutely no warning?

It felt like boarding a train and knowing more or less that you will end up at this-and-this destination, but then midway, without warning, they change the engine and you head off in a completely different direction! You have no idea where the stops will be and much less where the destination is!  In short, I felt completely disoriented!

This was a huge decision on the church’s part, international in fact. How was it possible we had not been informed?

AN UNHEALTHY CHURCH MENTALITY

“So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” 1 Peter 5:1-4 (Emphasis mine)

I did some research and found out that no, indeed, I hadn’t missed a vote or earlier announcement. A couple of members seemed shocked that I even asked about a congregational vote. They explained to me with a wave of the hand that one can’t have all the grannies getting involved to vote on the color of the sanctuary curtains! One needs a team of leaders to make these decisions because otherwise one would never get anything done!  I couldn’t believe that was the explanation they tossed me!

I was seriously concerned about going to a church where the leadership made international decisions that they did not even run by us, the lay people, for some feed back. I asked some leaders if they had had prior knowledge. I was told that one month prior to the congregation being told, all the leaders, such as cell group leaders and various team leaders, were called in to a meeting and briefed on the idea. So first, the very top of the pyramid of leaders had discussed this, and when they had considered all the facts and felt it was a good idea, they presented it to the lesser leaders.

It was naturally presented in glowing terms by the top leaders, like it would only be a benefit to the church. We would of course keep our church name and own identity and operate church as usual. Joining Hillsong family would not affect our finances. But being part of the family of Hillsong would probably give us more access to Hillsong material and speakers and conferences and discounts of sorts. The leaders said at the meeting that they were open for feedback and thoughts around this decision.

It probably felt a bit like being a guest at a wedding.  “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”   Maybe some of the wedding guests have a certain gut feeling this marriage might not go well or are afraid the couple have not been entirely honest with one another or that they should give the relationship more time before they rush into this decision, but the doubting guest knows that the couple have made up their minds and nothing they say will probably stop them from taking their vows. Also, if they were to speak up and the couple got married anyway and lived happily ever after, then they would go down in history as the doubting guest with no faith in the couple’s commitment. Who is really going to risk their reputation and go out on a limb like that?

So I can imagine it was something like that at that meeting.  Any silent objectors stayed silent and hoped for the best! Just sprinkle some good faith over it and it will work out for the best. I mean, hey, what’s not to like about it? It’s a win win situation! It’s a warm wall at our back! I mean, who in their right mind would turn down such an offer?  It’s too good to be true! To get to be a part of famous Hillsong but still be our own identity?! Well, I wondered if it was just that:  too good to be true.

Sadly, I personally think this decision says lots about our leaders faith and trust in our congregation; our congregations faith and trust in our leadership; and most importantly, how we as a church have put our faith and trust into Hillsong to love, grow, comfort and support us rather than God.

How is joining Hillsong helping us if we are faithfully preaching God’s Word daily? What power do they have that we don’t already have? Why the pressure to join? What are we saying about our church and leadership now that we’ve joined Hillsong? That we were incompetent?

HILLSONG’S OPERATION BEHIND THE TAKEOVER

So what did I know about Hillsong?  About what every body else does.  They are famous for their praise and worship music. I had an album of their music that somebody had given me and I knew others who rushed to get their newest albums as they cranked them out. We all sing their songs at some point in our various churches of all denominations. It’s this big church and popular Bible school destination. I mean, who with money doesn’t feel God calling them to a year of Bible school in exotic Australia???!!!! That’s really about all I knew about them. I mean, they are way over there on the other side of the globe. There are enough church goings-on to keep up with over here.  Why pay any special attention to Hillsong other than their music?

But if we were becoming a member of Hillsong family, that must mean we line up with their doctrine and way of doing church. So I felt I better research the Hillsong pastors and see what they were up to, as I assumed we would be hearing more from them in the near future.  As I looked into Hillsong, absolutely everything alarmed me.

Bit by bit I pieced together our involvement with Hillsong.  Apparently we had history that went way back. Our pastor had studied at the Hillsong Bible School himself! So did someone at Hillsong Bible School give him the idea that he can convert his church into a Hillsong Church? If so, what Bible School would do such a thing? Why not hand over the church and start his own Hillsong Church upfront in Oslo?

When he returned to Norway, his father, who was the senior pastor and founder of Oslo Christian Center, gave him the opportunity to start a church in downtown Oslo. So the son started up a brand new church that was a branch of his father’s church. They rented Victoria Theater on the main drag in Oslo, a couple blocks from the palace. It was a theater that was a bar and concert venue the rest of the week. As I looked into Hillsong campus churches world wide, I noticed that seemed to be their trademark, renting secular theaters for church services. So we were apparently a chip off the old block! I guess it’s too embarrassing and uncool to meet in traditional churches. I assume this does not really accommodate the whole stage effect that these hip young “churches” are into.

I was told that Brian and Bobbie Houston had  been emotionally and spiritually supportive about our young pastor starting this church. They had really prayed over him. Then when the son took over as senior pastor when his father retired they also really prayed over him again!

One year later, after he had been functioning as senior pastor of the three campuses of Oslo Christian Center, Hillsong invited us to join their family.

I hate to be so nonspiritual that I just look at the cold hard facts of finance and business opportunities, but all the same, I found myself pondering some things.  Hillsong has a campus in Stockholm and Copenhagen… why not Norway? Norway is the most evangelical country of Scandinavia, so the market is big for a church like Hillsong. We have one of the best economies in the world and the highest standard of living. From a purely financial point of view, who wouldn’t want a piece of that pie?

Well, we were already here. So we would have been stiff competition for Hillsong, to be perfectly honest. So maybe Hillsong thought if you can’t beat them, join them. Whatever the case, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling that this was a great strategy on the part of Hillsong.

It wasn’t only our church that joined the family of Hillsong.  A few months earlier, Intro Church also located in downtown Oslo, joined the family of Hillsong. We joined the family of Hillsong in the spring of 2014 and that summer, Norway was the most represented country at the London Hillsong summer conference.

A couple months before we joined the family of Hillsong, Pastor Clark from the London Hillsong campus, spoke at our leadership conference. That must have been a key weekend for all the leaders that were in the know! The following year after we had become members, they had three Hillsong pastors as speakers  at the leadership conference: Hillsong pastors from Stockholm, Copenhagen and London.

The latest checkup on the OKS.no website shows that they now have various groups you can join, such as, “The Creative Team,” “The Kingdom Builders,” and “The Sisterhood.”  These are ideas that come from Hillsong.

IS OUR CHURCH LOSING IT’S IDENTITY?

“O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified.” Galatians 3:1 (Emphasis mine)

I remember the first Easter service I was at the church, the sermon our pastor preached was really good and strong. It was an excellent service and had an impact on many. In fact, the people that I invited to that Easter service ended up coming back because it made such an impression!

But a year later, around the time we were joining the Hillsong family, the Easter service was very different. First of all, our pastor did not preach, even though he was present. The pastor from Stockholm Hillsong preached. I just didn’t understand why the Hillsong pastor wouldn’t want to be preaching at his own church on Easter morning. And why would our pastor move over on such an important Sunday? This is the big Sunday they encourage everyone to invite guests and people that maybe don’t normally go to church. If I had invited anyone to church that Sunday, they wouldn’t have gotten an impression of our own pastor. The sermon was so unmemorable. I can’t even remember the main points.

But worst of all, was that they had a trapeze artist swinging from silk scarves hanging from the stage ceiling as the praise and worship band played. It was a total show! It did not at all help me to think about the real reason of “Resurrection Sunday.” The show took over and as our pastor got up to do announcements, he said, ” Wow! What are we going to do next Sunday to compete with this?!!”   And I thought, “Yes, what are you going to do? You have whet an unstoppable appetite. The show must go on. You have brought cake and circus to the church. Now you are going to get up and bore us with a sermon? Well, at least keep it short and sweet and peppy and fresh!”

When they tantalize our senses with so many experiences, they do not prepare us for a serious sermon. We just want more of the fun stuff. Oh please!

Don’t  we have enough entertainment on our T.V., internet, Facebook, and iPhones? Do we really come to church for more of the same stuff? Like trapeze artists swinging on silk scarves to the music of praise and worship? Talk about caving into the carnal desires of the flesh!

WHY can’t we stick with the simple Gospel? The King of the universe was born in a stable. When Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, came to Jerusalem for the Passover, which we now refer to as Palm Sunday, He rode in on a donkey. Just one Easter service at our church cost more then both of those events put together!  I couldn’t help thinking about the churches being burned in Pakistan and Egypt. Our dear brothers and sisters in Christ suffering and being martyred for the sake of the Gospel. Meanwhile we just pumped more and more money into presenting  the simple Gospel to wealthy, high-maintenance western Christians.

That was one of the last Sundays I was at that church. The next Sundays I came only to fulfill my cafe duties through to the end of the spring semester. I simply could no longer with good conscience support the theology which is of course the backbone of any church–what they believe and stand for and put the focus on.  I want to follow Jesus and not be a part of some big namebrand church that pumps loads of time and energy and money into entertaining the crowd.

HEADING DOWN HOUSTON RD

It was easy to see where Hillsong was headed. The Hillsong Praise Band has performed and worshiped with practicing Roman Catholics and partook in their pagan rites at the national Catholic World Youth Day, Sydney Australia.

That is called ecumenism. Hillsong work with other faiths that teach things that are not in the Bible, like praying to saints, and worshiping Mary. And then the Catholics in turn let all other forms of faith on the stage, like Buddhists and Hindus and Shamans.

Hillsong also shared their stage with Brian and Jenn Johnson of Bethel  in Redding, California. Hillsong let Brian and Jenn Johnson’s praise and worship band open up their 20l4 summer conference in London. Brian Johnson openly joked in an interview at a Hillsong praise and worship workshop, that the “Glory cloud of God” mostly shows up when it’s his song!

I find it toxic to be in an environment that openly laughs and jokes about holy things like the presence of God. The glory cloud of God is no laughing matter! We need to get back to, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10).

Hillsong pastor of the New York campus says he has “conversations” about a sin like homosexuality. There is no “Thus saith the Lord”  unless it’s important issues to them like tithing and new prophetic statements. Also, how anybody can find the Hillsong promotional video for their 2015 summer conference inspirational, I will never understand.  They make God sound very far away, as if we can hardly hear Him in the “violence of silence, brutalizing the senses”. We are “drawn by a whisper that waits for our response.” What does this mean? It’s nothing but pagan mysticism presented as Christianity!

At no point do the creators of the promotional video say we actually have the words of God in our hands. A book called the Bible.  A living book that we are meant to open and read.  And every “whisper” that we hear blowing out in this vast universe is meant to line up with the word of God.  And if it that “whisper” does not line up with the word of God, you chuck it out!

Hillsongs vision for 2015 in their own words is a “dangerous declaration, a new manifesto.”  I would have to indeed agree with them: Hillsong has a new dangerous declaration that I want to stay far away from. Their new manifesto is another Gospel, another faith and another Jesus.

CONCLUSION

Above are just some of the unsettling truths I came across. I am still learning more frightening information about Hillsong as I write. Hillsong’s takeover of Garden City Church should concern Christians globally.

Hillsong insider: the GCC “merge” “was surely and truly a “plotted corporate takeover””

There is nothing ethical about the way Hillsong is undermine and take over churches like mine. These are people’s lives after all that will be affected. We need to be careful who we put our trust in. I personally, feel betrayed with my church’s conduct. I felt pressured and manipulated and I am sure others felt the same way.

To me, I wish my church was more forthcoming about this takeover in advance. Why could they not trust their congregation in voting on this very important issue? Why did the congregation blindly hand over their trust to the pastors to make this decision for them? Why the secrecy? While I discovered that it wasn’t hidden knowledge that my pastor studied at Hillsong and met with Brian Houston on some occasions, why was it decided that the entire church would be influenced from the top down in secret?

Everything was so carefully managed and orchestrated. Was our church informed about Hillsong’s history in Australia and New Zealand? There had been some scandals involving Pastor Frank Houston, Brian Houston and other Hillsong leaders. Are we to embrace their theology?

And what would happen if we became a proper bonefide Hillsong “Church”? Who will own the assets? What if my pastor realised that he made a mistake? Will Hillsong simply see him as an asset and discard him the way Hillsong has dealt with leaders or troublemakers in the past?

These are tough questions that I hope I will find answers to.

Hillsong Insider (Part 1): “My exit out of a mega church… Never to return again”

18 Monday May 2015

Posted by Nailed Truth in Insiders

≈ 74 Comments

Tags

Hillsong, Hillsong takeover, insider, OSC, Oslo, Oslo Christian Center, takeover

Why did I join a mega church in the first place is maybe a good place to start this saga.

insider

MY BACKGROUND

I was raised in a Christian home with the whole church culture of Sunday school, Sunday night, Wednesday night, youth group, youth retreats and the whole nine yards. As I rolled into my 20s with loads of energy which I poured into work and travel, it always nagged at me that I should be plugged into a good church. I saw the bad effects of always being on the go and not putting any real time into having a church family, godly people to encourage and challenge me in my walk of faith.

MY NEED FOR A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SAVIOUR

As I came to the end of my 20s I really hit a dead end. I realized I had been working my way to heaven and God’s grace had completely eluded me. I had become a sepulcher of dead works which I knew in Gods eyes were filthy rags. I was never going to “make it into the kingdom of God.” I faced that I had indeed been giving of my own strength and I was all done in.

Empty, with nothing more to give, I too needed a Savior. It was at this time that I realized I must prioritize God and my walk with Him and make changes in my work so I could really walk the talk. Not just talk the walk.

MY NEW CHURCH

And so it was at this time, spiritually on the rocks, that I stumbled in the doors of a mega church called City Church under the leadership of Oslo Christian Center. I sank gratefully into the comfortable, plush theater seats, sipping the coffee and chewing on the candy I had received at the door.

The young, hip, and very energetic pastor was preaching up a storm on the subject that all that we have is of Christ and for Christ.

Each Sunday the message sank in more and more. I had heard these truths all my life but it was as though I was hearing for the first time. There’s “hearing” and then there’s “hearing.” You know what I mean?

All the burden of striving for God and failing was lifted. I repented that I had been working my way to heaven. I really asked God to be Lord of my life and found the Scripture to be true…His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

So beyond a shadow of doubt the Lord used this preacher to really get through to me.

I was so happy to be saved and threw myself enthusiastically into volunteering on the cafe team and at the other church events. I was at this church about 1,5…2 years.

As we all know, success sells itself. It’s a big church and runs on a huge staff of volunteer and some paid staff.

As I settled into this church I had to think through all the reasons for going to this church and calling it home and backing that up with commitment like membership and tithing.

I had really found the joy of my salvation! It was all very exciting and fresh and new and I was positive about everything that my new-found journey of faith was taking me on! But I did not want to confuse my new-found joy of salvation with a body of people and church that I couldn’t go good for. Growing up 45 minutes from the mecca of charismatic mega stars of Tulsa, Oklahoma, I had plenty of cautious reserve.

MY BIBLICAL OBSERVATIONS

I began to read and dig into the word of God in a new way. I really liked the structure and order I saw in the church in the pages of the Bible.  It seemed simple and more like a bigger scale of what family and home life should be. Church is like your extended spiritual family.

Contrasted with that, what I found in the mega type churches is that they are not conducive to older people. They talk about being a church for everyone. But I find older generations being a part of the church a total myth. They are non-existent. I remember seeing some older people come to the leadership conference and I felt they must have come because they were very loyal grandparents of some of the kids in leadership… I mean why ever else would they listen to a volume cranked up 100 times over their hearing aids!!??  I realized it was not a church my own grandfather would have felt comfortable in. The pumped up music and disco lights would have been very overwhelming for him.

Even I got exhausted with the loud concert setting music every single week! It becomes such a performance. There was no point to sing along because I couldn’t hear myself sing, much less the person beside me! Even the Christmas service was pumped up, without a single slow classic song that we associate with Christmas. I asked the band why they had cut even the one classic they had done last year and I was told because there was not time in the program. And I thought, well there would be time if they would cut all the endless advertizing for upcoming events and the tithing pep talk!!!

The lighting was often so dim I could hardly read my Bible. Most people brought their phones so that they could read the text glowing in the dark.

MY REALIZATION

I realized I could not seriously continue in this church long-term and call it home. My own home and personal standards were more conservative. Since I was in the ripe marriageable age of late 20’s, the thought crossed my mind…would I want to raise kids in this church? Certainly not in a church where there were no grandparents around! Even my parents age were old and outdated for the hip young church! I’m not either sure I would want to raise kids in a church that would prime them for the clubbing life! To go from the church scene to the club scene would not be a very far step! It’s funny because that is the  whole image of the mega church….it’s meant to be so comfortable and such a low threshold that people can feel that they can step out of the club and into church with the same outfit on! I wonder if the leaders ever think of it from the other direction….that their kids will step from the church into the club on any given Sunday! In fact, I remember sometimes heading for the clubs with my Christian friends from youth group after Sunday night church!

I began to feel more and more that church should be a stark contrast from the world and what it offers. As a waitress, I work in dim light and listen to the world’s music every day. And I work in a decent chain hotel but they crank up the sexualized hip hop music at night.

Then I would head to church on Sundays and really feel that it was hardly a break from my workday. The praise and worship team would be up there jumping around like pop corn and trying to get us excited about praising Jesus. I found my mind wandering…noticing the praise leader had gotten new boots…..and thinking…o yeah, that’s right boots are on sale…I need a new spring pair! I mean seriously! It suddenly struck me why churches have had congregational singing. WE are as a church meant to praise the Lord. Not admire some worship band on stage as they channel our praise up to God!

One Sunday the young wife of a leading couple in the church who was the mother of two, preached the Sunday sermon. She was making the point that we must “Walk the talk.”  Our kids follow what we do more then what we say. To illustrate, she said like telling your kids not to swear and then we swear ourselves when we are mad. She then flashed a huge picture on the screen that probably went viral on instagram of a 5 year old kid at a football game with his dad and they both have war paint on and are angrily flipping off the other team with both fingers in the air! It was a surprising picture and was of course shown for shock effect. Being a young crowd of people raised on pop culture and used to this sort of humor, we all roared with laughter! I couldn’t help feeling this picture may have been appropriate for a kinder-garten staff meeting…but at church???

What if I had had my 5-year-old godchild along that Sunday? I pictured the conversation with her after church…”I know all the adults were laughing…but it’s really not funny or OK to flip off other people when you’re mad. It’s not right and certainly not funny.” I mean, no matter what you said the kid would know there is a double standard. There is the standard for kids and then there is the “behind closed doors” double standard of the adults.

UNHOLY LAUGHTER

I noticed over time that laughing about things that were serious or should be holy was becoming a trend. It was almost becoming the normal ice breaker. One Sunday the guy getting up to do announcements joked about the book on stage….”Maybe it’s the Book Of Life…shall I open it and see if your names are in it?” We all roared with laughter. Another speaker visiting from New Zealand was whining about how the church folk never get tired about hearing about the cross.

“The cross, the cross, the cross.”

He made us sound like kids that want their dad to read their favorite bedtime story for the millionth time. He went on to say…”I wonder if Jesus had died of a machine gun or a rope would we hang that up in the church and keep talking about the machine gun or the rope?” To which we all roared!

My spirit felt sick and depressed. I started to get more and more uneasy for each Sunday that passed.  To be honest, I quit going, and only came the Sundays I had cafe duty. And then I would always offer to be the one that sat out in the cafe during the service.  My joy was really fading fast. I was getting restless and filled with anxiety. I can say it  bothered me day and night.

The second Easter service that I was a part of was a total shock to me. They had a trapeze artist swing from silk scarves as the worship and praise team sang. It had a total circus feeling! I felt a great sense of relief that nobody I had invited had been able to come! I love the circus and I love church. But a combination?

A HILLSONG TAKEOVER?

The total clincher and reason I decided to quit was because the church became a member of the Hillsong family. I was already wondering if a mega church was anything to call home. I noticed that absolutely nobody noticed if I came or not to church. Nobody asked about my walk of faith. If I was looking for a spiritual family with accountability, I could forget it.

I began to think through even the cafe team that I served on. Our team leader was a very earnest Christian and really worked hard and always gave 100%. He was obviously one of the sought-after eligible bachelors in the church. There were a lot of women on the team and when I went to a get-together for the cafe team, I found it very awkward. I felt like we were on some Christian version of “The Bachelor!”  I just wasn’t interested in going to church and events where we were all the same age and going through the same things. Church events felt like free dating events! It made church very stressful!

I ended up not going to the Christmas party for the cafe team. It turned out not one person missed me or asked why I hadn’t come! I realized they really hadn’t missed me. One less player in the competition! I had a real good laugh about it!

At another Christian event I served at, I saw a younger man that looked familiar. I asked him where I knew him from… he said church. But he said he had quit and found a new church, (also a church that had joined the family of Hillsong months before our church did), with a younger crowd because he was not ready to get married yet and he felt everyone at my church was in their mid 20’s to 30’s either getting married or married and

with kids. In other words, they were too old!

We had a good laugh over that! But I thought… wow, how stressful to go to a church where we are all going through the same stuff. Is this really normal? So I began to look at the culture of the church. What was missing? Where were the old people? Why did we laugh with no shame and joke about holy things? Because no grandparents were present to shake their heads? Why did our pastor apologize every time he came with a deep point in his message?

One time he literally told us we could pull out our phone and check the weather if we wanted while he made the next point.  We all roared with laughter! What was so funny? That we were all idiots, victims of pop culture, who couldn’t handle anything deep? Was that seriously funny? I looked around at the audience lounging in our comfortable theater seats and began to feel we were pathetic. I felt if I joined a secular club we would treat the subject more seriously then this crowd treated Jesus their Redeemer. What was this new trend of dragging the Gospel and everything in the Bible into one big familiar joke?

It actually bothered me enough that I addressed the pastor in the foyer on the issue one Sunday. He was surprised and said it was of course an invitation to get people to join… and for people that are not use to the serious side to sit up. Of course he knows when he says “Pull out your phones,” people end up listening up. Basically I lack all sense of humor, apparently. He said he appreciated the feedback.

Sometimes I feel the pastors assume they are preaching to a group of hells angels! Like I stressed to the pastor, he is preaching in the capital of Norway, a country with one of the highest standards of living in the world. We are all university educated and for the one or two punks that walk in…well, they should be challenged to step up….why do we lower the standard?

MY RESEARCH INTO THE HILLSONG TAKEOVER

Well, the church joining Hillsong was the last straw for me. First of all, we idiots that couldn’t handle a deep point unless we can check the weather and Facebook halfway through… we were not asked what we thought. This huge and international decision was completely out of our hands. Only the top leaders discussed this. Then when they were sure it was a good idea, they announced the idea to the top leaders, like all the cell group leaders and other church leaders. They were informed a month before they were going to announce it to the church congregation as a whole. So this was the meeting with the leaders where they were open for feedback. But from what I understood, it wasn’t even voted on at that level. It was of course presented as a great idea with only benefits for us.

I then found out that our pastor had gone to Hillsong Bible school so then all the bricks began to fall into place. As I looked into the Hillsong movement I realized my pastor had gotten much of his inspiration for his church from Hillsong. Our pastors father, the senior and founder of the church, had studied at a big charismatic church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

So after the son came back from Hillsong his father gave him the opportunity to start a church in down town Oslo. They rented a theater right down town Oslo…they are now in their third Theater (Vulkan Arena) since starting. Apparently doing church in a non church type setting like a local theater is a Hillsong trademark. It seams to be a running theme they have.

So in many ways we were all ready following a Hillsong type format which I had been blissfully unaware of until then. One year after our pastor became the senior pastor (when his father retired)… we joined the family of Hillsong. So of course it goes with out saying that now Hillsong pastors frequent their conferences. And we Norwegians go to all the Hillsong conferences here in Scandinavia as there is a Hillsong campus in Stockholm and Copenhagen. London is not too far away either! In fact Norway was the most represented country at Hillsong’s London summer conference 2014 the year we joined their family!

For me it was obvious that if I was going to go a long with our church joining Hillsong then I must look into Hillsong and see what they stand for. I must take personal responsibility to research into Hillsong myself. I’m old enough to know you don’t just trust your leaders word on any thing. So I began to really look into Hillsong and their pastors. All I really knew about Hillsong was that they were famous for their praise and worship music, which I found rather sentimental and shallow. I wasn’t a huge fan. And of course I knew that lots of Norwegians went to Hillsong Bible school. Norwegians have loads of money and with the highest standard of living in the world, who doesn’t feel the Lord calling them to Bible school in exotic Australia…and Sydney at that! I mean isn’t that somewhere near Bondi Beach? From ice cold snow slopes in Norway to warm surf waves…”the call” is not hard to follow!

But okay, it’s all very well to have some vague idea about Hillsong way off on some other continent. But now it was seriously going to invade our church! Hillsong pulls big crowds. In one Norwegian Christian newspaper called “Dagen,” the pastor of Intro, (the first church to join the family of Hillsong), was sharing how impressed he was with how people stood in line to get into Hillsong Church. God must be blessing it!

THE “FRUIT” CARD

Mega churches seem to love that verse about the fruit, “Ye shall know them by their fruit.” They seem to interpret fruit to be numbers. So no matter what concern you may have with a mega church they shoot you down with arrows about “the fruit”. They exclaim, “Look at the numbers!  God is obviously blessing it!  So many can’t be wrong. They are reaching the nations!”

Well, Hitler and some other famous dictators had fans and numbers and were “reaching the nations” with their message. People like rock stars pull crowds as well. I fail to see how this is such a great defense. It acts more like a sheepskin to hide their dishonesty.

Because when you look at the church on a micro level:

1.) Nobody noticed if I came to church or not, not even to the events for my own ministry team! And to be honest, I didn’t either notice if others came or not. One didn’t get to know people well enough to ask why they hadn’t come or was  everything okay in their life or simply last week!!! Norwegians are reserved to begin with so it takes forever to get to know them anyway and in a mega church they really can hide away!

2.) All the joking about Holy things seriously made me feel unwell. It depressed and stressed me.

3.) We were all organs in a great machine called “the church” But over time I began to feel that my effort on the cafe team didn’t mean that much to anyone. People had to pay for the  cakes and that bothered me how things cost. Like even the Christmas dinner people had to pay for. I did not get a church family feeling at all. When it all had to be so fancy and impressive. . .it all cost. Over time the disillusionment grew.

4.) To feel a part of the church one was meant to go to the cell group they assigned to you so you could “connect” with people. For me it just felt rather artificial and those five women or so at the cell group are not really people one met at church on Sunday anyway. It just was not filling the gap of making church feel like home. . .my spiritual family.

I noticed that what the church put time and money and effort into was the show and performance and all the creative stuff.  Of course it cost a lot and took a lot of time… but gave me nothing.

THE HILLSONG CLONE AND DRONE?

The only thing I had left in that church was the pastors sermons which I still really appreciated. But mega pastors are busy people and when he was out of town he handed the pulpit over to the wife of the leading couple and I wasn’t sure if according to the biblical standard I agreed with women preachers. If she wasn’t speaking it was the other pastor of our other campus or a visiting pastor or of course the Hillsong pastors that got their turn in the pulpit. I didn’t always feel that they came with anything deep and felt more and more that Hillsong was not a deepening influence. I began to compare our church with Hillsong and realized we were really saying the same stuff. Our conferences looked a lot like they followed the Hillsong type blueprint. So  it seemed to be that if one was a part of the family of Hillsong we really looked to them for inspiration. I found the Hillsong vision for 2015 less then inspiring. With their Christian version of a manifesto and their dangerous declaration I was truly alarmed.

Suffice it to say when I decided to leave the church was when they joined the Hillsong Family in the spring of 2014.

I debated for a long time in my heart and mind whether I would write to the pastor or not. I prayed as well and it turned around in my mind for about 5 or 6 months. But finally I did write him. I felt it was cowardly to leave without a note. I really felt I must give some feedback as well.

I was rather amused by my cafe team leaders response to my departure. When I told him for the past few months I had only been coming when I had cafe duty he had to admit he had noticed that; although he had at no point questioned or confronted me on that.

CONCLUSION

I had not heard one person even breathe that they questioned or opposed the church joining Hillsong. So I was left to conclude that I was alone in that criticism. In mega churches it is very important to always be positive and supportive of the leaders and their choice of focus and direction for the church. They say they are open for feedback and thoughts and ideas but I have never found the environment they cultivate conducive to that. They are just pushing polite phrases around. You either get on the same page or leave.

The cafe leader made the classic response that I should stick it out and rather be an influence and not just throw down my toys in the sand box and stomp off! Like how do we solve anything in the world if we leave the moment we don’t agree! I mean I get the argumentation and its very sweet to be so cliche and idealistic but I’m not so naive as to think I could have any influence. I may be blue eyed but I’m realistic. Any weight I would come with would be seen as fighting progress… standing on the wrong side of history. What is there to discus when your church has joined a huge mega church on the other side of the globe? It all gets so abstract.

What I don’t like with this mega church name branding is that the church loses it’s soul and original stamp of God on it. Instead of being “a chosen generation, a royal priesthood,  a holy nation, a peculiar people” that God has called out… we end up becoming name brand Christians where we all talk the same language and we don’t call sin out. We just have conversations about it. We rock out every Sunday and push the older people aside in a desperate attempt to be “relevant” to the younger people. So we take our marching orders from pop culture, whatever the next “relevant” thing is to the young people. Because the next “relevant” thing is simply branded, “A new and fresh move of God”.

If you want to join the old people on the back pew putting the brakes on… you’ll be left out in the cold.

I really get this feeling they just tack the label “Jesus” to their hip life style, their humor, their clubbing party life, their music and entertainment style of it all got to be fast, easy, funny and attractive.

Once in a while they will let a heavy sett girl sing with the praise band or a nerd bass player just to convince us that they are NOT like the world where it’s all about the image. But we are hardly convinced!

Our christian church life becomes this larger than life machine that we all help to move around because we all want to be part of something great for God. We want to part of something successful and big, where God is really moving and obviously blessing. I mean, look at the numbers they pull in!

Oh well, numbers or not, progress or no, I still knew I could not keep growing in this environment. Of course I never got a response from the pastor, which just further proved the point. Why does anyone go to a mega-church where they will never be able to talk to the pastor? The pastor and leaders have their own inner circle. Very few others dare or see the point of even attempting to make contact with them.

Just thinking through that made me realize I was leaving the concept of mega-church never to return again.  Who wants to be so far removed from your pastor and leaders at church, where you can go for fifty years and never get to know them?  What is the big deal with a big, successful church?  I realized it is the age-old, “Success sells itself.”  We go to the shop where we see a lot of people.  We want to go to the school that is popular and so on.  But is church really meant to follow the world’s model?

Mega-churches try to present Jesus like a super-star, like we would love Him if we got a chance to know Him.  So they beg the chance to present the Gospel in a new and fresh way at their church.  Like give them a chance, and you will love being a Christian. There is no talk of “You will be hated for my sake.”  Persecuted, in fact.  Why not?  Because people love not the truth. God is not in all their thoughts. Jesus Christ was despised and rejected of men.  I don’t see that the Apostles experienced anything else.

I got so nervous in the mega-church because I felt it was not preparing me for the tough reality of what it means to take up our cross and follow Him, to crucify the flesh.

We Millennium Kids have a short attention span.  We love to church-shop and church-hop and to be honest, it is a young people’s dating possibility. If there is nobody interesting at your church, you check out other churches during their services.

Let’s be perfectly honest, Millennium Kids!  Most Christian youth in Oslo at some point end up visiting, for example, Filadelfia Church, another mega-church. Because they are in the capital, they get to choose from the best singers, musicians and speakers.  I had a couple favorite speakers. You know, the kind that make you cry and you go home with this great point to chew on for the next week. The service is very aesthetically pleasing and much less rocked-out. But again, in a huge mega-church, nobody knows if you come or go. There are a hundred and fifty volunteer staff around ever service. It’s always flawless.

So as I was pondering my journey out of the mega church and why I would not end up at this church either… I decided to have a look at their networking. Turns out Bill Hybel has been coming over for the past 10 years for conferences on church growth. They have also hosted Brian and Bobbie Houston as guest speakers for conferences.

Their bible school students have been on trips to the US to visit the L.A. Hillsong church and they even visited Bethel in Redding California! When I think Bethel CA I think   “Christian Harry Potter school of the super natural”. I’ve never heard of a church more occupied with carnal miracles then them, promoting nonsense like ‘Glory clouds’ and ‘gold dust’ and angels that they conjure up who have been sleeping (not to mention the ‘soaking’ or ‘gravesucking’ at the tombs of dead people to receive a spiritual blessing).

I found it was alarming the more I looked into who these mega-churches network with. The only difference was that Filadelfia was not a member of Hillsong Family. That is because they are an old, well established church with their own identity. But as you look into all these mega-churches you realize they network on an international scale.

People in Australia and America probably don’t think about the rest of the world because their countries are so big. But these mega pastors reach out on an international scale and trust me, we small mega churches in Europe are plugged into the big mega-church grid. So there is no getting away. You have to get out. Give up all the prestige and find a small church. A small boring church without an expensive hyped up kids program. A small church where normal people lead us in congregational singing. As you begin to hear the sound of your voice again…it’s like you get your own feelings back. It’s like a detox program because all your senses calm down. There is no worshipful atmosphere that gets you all pumped up and excited about God and than lulls you into a receptive mood for the sermon. It reminds me that my pastor used to joke about how the piano player should come up toward the end of the sermon to play softly and help him sound more spiritual! I really fail to see what is so funny. I guess I have no sense of humor.

Anyway I am not trying to come with some recipe on how church needs to be. I just know how I don’t want it to be. I don’t like being played with, internally manipulated. I don’t like all my senses on edge, sitting at the edge of my seat wondering what’s coming next? Wondering if I will end up laughing at a joke that really isn’t funny the moment I think twice about it.

I’m not either trying to say that “boring” equals spiritual and holy. Of course our life and walk and relationship with God is exciting and a challenging story and we should express that! But then we need the space and time to express ourselves.

We need to meet in smaller groups and actually share our testimonies. We need to be able to talk with our leaders. The church stage should not be way up there for the spiritual elite of the church, the leaders and their international friends. I’m not saying either that conferences are not a great idea and very helpful. But weekly church life should have a more organic feel to it. It’s like we all prefer tomatoes grown locally then shipped from another side of the globe. I feel the same with the spiritual food.

I want to hear home grown faith and up close and personal. This high profile stage that the mega church sets is so out of touch with me and my daily struggles as a waitress in a big hotel.

If I want a fancy entertainment show I can pay for that….but church is meant to be about meeting brothers and sisters in Christ. “Provoking one another to love and  good works” “Admonishing one another” “Praying with out ceasing” Taking the beam out of our own eye before we pick at the splinter in other people’s eye! It’s that week by week growing in the faith. Getting past the milk stage and really growing!

I am so done with the mega church. It is not because I had some really bad experience and so I am just ranting and raving out of bitter disappointment. All I can say is that I was on my way out of the mega-church anyway and my church that joined the Hillsong movement simply sped up my whole process of “To be or not to be in a mega-church, that is the question” dilemma.

The End.

Written in Enebakk, Norway
March 18, 2015

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